


Fire team Depression

by CaptainSin99



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Attempt at Humor, Fluff and Crack, I'll write a more serious version later, Multi, Pretty Much All The Characters, sarcasm and dirty jokes abound, this is just something a friend and I are writing together for fun, view this like outtakes, well the bad guys die
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 22:40:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20956070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainSin99/pseuds/CaptainSin99
Summary: Two guardians that have no idea what they are doing get way in over their heads and annoy the vanguard at the same time.





	Fire team Depression

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah like I said in the notes this is just something a friend and I are writing for fun so its not beta read and we both suck at grammar that being said we hope you enjoy.

All was quiet at the Tower. A Guardian dressed in blue and black was currently sitting on a stool at the local Ramen shop, waiting for his orders. This Guardian is Virgil. One of many Hunters of the Vanguard. He grins some as his order was placed in front of him.

“Enjoying our brief time off before the next inevitable shit storm?” Valentine inquired as she made her way to her longtime friend.

He turned to face her with a smile that grew wider. “You know it, Val. Killing various threats to the galaxy and our way of life is hungry work. Want a bowl? I'm buying.”

“As if I’d ever say no to ramen.” she laughed as she sat down. “You know being as we have this time off we might as well see about doing some crucible, I think Shaxx misses us.” 

He snickers softly, ordering a bowl for his sister from another mister. “More like he misses you and your ‘twins’ in that chest piece.” He chuckles.

“Oi! It’s not my fault they never make these damn things in my size, and honestly I think he misses the way we destroy the competition.” she groused before digging into her own bowl of food happily.

“Besides, I’m not sure if he can even see my chest from all the way up there, seeing as how he’s living proof that giants exist.”

“Cameras, maybe? Besides, like you care if they're in the breeze.” He chuckles, polishing off his bowl. “To the Crucible we go.”

“Ha! As if I’d let anything so trivial stop me in the middle of battle! Though if that is where Shaxx is staring we are going to tease him about it mercilessly.” She pushed herself back and got ready to transmat to her ship, oh how she enjoyed flustering her favorite titans, they just made it so easy, how could she resist?

“We doing the whole ‘Fake Boyfriend and Girlfriend’ bit? Or something else?” He asks. Normally, he wouldn't go along with it, but Val made it too addicting to rile up the Titans. Plus, Cayde gets a kick out of it, so that's a win as well.

“But, of course~ Poor Zavala never stood a chance against our onslaught last time though admittedly I am curious as to how Shaxx will react, probably near the same considering how easy it is to fluster titans.” she mused already planning how to really get Shaxx to blow a gasket.

“Alright, ‘babe', let's knock em dead.” He says with a grin, transporting up to his ship.

“As you say, ‘darling’, as you say.” She chuckled switching over to a private channel once she got her helmet secured and on her ship she let her Ghost plot them a course to the crucible arena for their match.

“Looks like we're going to Nessus...control. Again. Wish they would spice things up in these matches.” He mutters to himself, adjusting his helmet.

“Heh, don’t think we can spice it up ourselves? Just keep the enemy off my back while I capture the points, Traveler knows our teammates won’t do it. Now let’s go give Shaxx something to really yell about, eh?” She smirked as she readied her hand canon, preparing for the start of the match.

He gives a matching smirk, readying his Scout Rifle. “Just tell me where to aim and they get a bullet in their brain.” He chuckles.

“Ugh, really? The match just started and already your making awful rhymes?” Valentine groaned  
wondering for the hundredth time why they were friends, as she made her way to the first point, if they were quick the match would be over within minutes.

He snickers softly, taking down two opposing Guardians that were about to flank his friend. “That was my one per match, you know. I'll be happy to keep going.

“You even think about it and I’ll kill you myself, now hush and stick to the shadows. Let’s show them that Hunters are something to be feared.” She circled around, throwing a smoke bomb down at their feet to keep them hidden, before speeding off to capture the next point and leaving a trail of bodies in her wake.

He shakes his head in amusement, following after her, taking down any other Guardian he saw in their way of victory.

“I think that may be a new record.” she chuckled as Shaxx called in a mercy ruling that ended the match succinctly at its three minute mark.

“I didn't even work up a sweat yet.” He grins, dusting himself off. 

“It was fun at any rate, let’s head back to the tower and hand in our tokens.” If Lord Shaxx gave her one more submachine gun he wasn’t going to like where she was going to shove it. As much as she enjoyed the man’s enthusiasm for battle she wasn’t a very social person by nature and would really rather be back on Nessus exploring.

“Sounds like a plan. I hope I get a new shotgun this time.” He says with a smile.

“I just hope he doesn’t nearly break our ribs hugging us like last time.” Resisting the urge to hold her sides at the memory, she began plotting their course back to the tower.

“I'm still tender from the last hug.” He replies with a small chuckle. Seriously, that guy can be a little TOO intense at times.

“At least it’s because he likes us, I’d hate to see what he’d do if he hated us.” She shuddered at the mere thought, though she knew that nothing could stop her and Virgil when they fought together.

“Agreed. Let's cash in these tokens. I'm feeling adventurous today.” 

“Hmmm...I know we planned to go to Nessus today, but I think I have a better plan.” She murmured as jerked her ships flight controls and raced back to the tower.

“Dare I ask what the plan is?” He inquired, following her ship back to the Tower.

“Well let’s just say if Zavala finds out it won’t be so pretty, but we’ll talk once we hand in these tokens and get back to the ship, more specifically we are going to be using my first ship for this.” She pasted on a grin as they reached Shaxx and were both swept into a tight hug as soon as they were in reach of the other. 

“Oh, that was my spine that went snappy...owie.” He groans out.

“Easy there big guy, what’s got you so excited huh?” she laughed both at her friend’s dramatics and Shaxx’s rather enthusiastic greeting. 

Shaxx gave a hearty enthusiastic laugh, commending the both of them on their recent winning streak in the Crucible. 

“I’m surprised you’re not tired of us yet, Mr. Crucible.” she teased, really she would never let him live that down.

“Oh, please. The way we handle things in there? We're the stars of it.” He grins, listening to Shaxx.

“Careful my friend, your ego is showing.” Valentine would never tire of her friend’s antics, others, however, she wasn’t so sure.

“Well we best be going, no rest for the wicked and all that.” That and she couldn’t wait to set her plan in action, now where did she stash her ship?...


End file.
